I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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