I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This house was built for laser tag.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
