I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
