11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
