Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize