im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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