Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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