i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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