i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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