you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
