I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
