you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
