The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
