tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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