Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
