You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
