That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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