i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
