how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
