Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
True but thats because hes a fetus.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
