He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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