This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
