I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
