do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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