i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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