i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
