you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
