let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And then my night got REAL pukey
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
