My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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