u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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