Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
