You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize