she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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