You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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