I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
