wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
