ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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