Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
