Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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