if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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