im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize