I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
the raccoons are back...
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