The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
