if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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