Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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