its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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