well I can't set my house on fire every night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
