Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
