Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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