worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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