I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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