return my video game
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
