She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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