you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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