they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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