shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
