we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
