I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
