He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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