Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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