i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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