i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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