in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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