this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
