That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
